It's Friday. Sex?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize