All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
if only i could text you this smell
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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