I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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