Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
