The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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