I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
