yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
