You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
