You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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