I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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