I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Randomize
