New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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