first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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