I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
