Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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