if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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