return my video game
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
