You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
