I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Non-Jews are for practice
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
