I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
