the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
