I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
