I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
