Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
