Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
