All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
