At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
