I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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