My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
