Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
