hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
why do cheetos always look like penises
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
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