Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
