Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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