nut hugger
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
