I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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