the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
