My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
