Swine flu. Run for my life!
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
