ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
