I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
