Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
