the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
