i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
