just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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