How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize