she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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