Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
