So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
