i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
