Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He felt like a one man threesome
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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