he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
