You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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