return my video game
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
